I sit down when I pee,
There's nothin that crazy bout me,
I'm just takin a wizz,
Mind your own bizz,
Why is everybody always starin at me?

Hey bro, I gotta go,
Let me through,
I gotta go number two.

No can do I'm takin a pee,
Sittin on the lou having a good long wee,

Are you sittin down?

I'm sittin down.

And you're not makin brown?

I'm not makin brown.

Are you makin iced tea?

Just lemonade.

But are you sittin down?

I'm sittin down!

Why don't you stand like a regular man?
Then you can pee in the urinal can.

If you really wanna know why I'm sittin strong,
I just can't stand touching my dong.

Those vampire bats will give you a fright
Eating apples both day and night
They rest for a minute, maybe three
Then they're eating every apple in your apple tree
They don't care about nada, not zilch, no, nothin'
'Cept bringin' about an orchard's destruction

Now wait just a minute, there's another side to this
And if I did not defend them, then I would be remiss
These bats are mamas and papas too
They care for their young just like we ponies do

Oh, give me a break, you're bein' too kind
These creatures have a one-track mind
The orchard is not their restaurant
But do they ever think what others may want?
No! They don't! And that is just a fact
These bats, they simply don't know how to act

That's where I have to disagree
They're loyal to their family
Spreading seeds both far and wide

You see one comin', you'd better run and hide!
They're big and ugly and mean as sin
Will ya look at the state my trees are in?

They help your trees, they'll grow stronger faster

They've turned my life to a total disaster!

Well, I for one don't have a doubt
These vermin must be stamped right out

I second that, they've got to go
These bats, they've got to hit the road

It comes down to just one simple fact
They've crossed the line, it's time to fight them

Stop the bats! Stop the bats!
Make them go and not come back!
Stop the bats! Stop the bats!
Make them go and not come back!
Stop the bats! Stop the bats!
Make them go and not come back!

Yes, it comes down to just one simple fact
They've crossed the line, it's time that we attack!